How to be More Confident When You Feel Judged by Other Parents
Being confident in the face of judgemental parents isn’t about starting an argument to prove yourself right. It’s about having the right mindset. When you’re in the right state of mind, anything that Supermarket Susan or Facebook Frannie has to comment won’t bother you.
In the right mindset, even judgemental family members or friends won’t knock you down and have you doubting everything you’re doing for your children.
I used to feel so down on myself when I would see a nasty comment about autism on social media. My son has one of those backpacks with a harness and lead– you wouldn’t believe the comments and scowl I’ve gotten from people… well, maybe you can.
The world is full of a lot of negative people but that doesn’t knock me down anymore. I really couldn’t care less about any judgmental things someone has to say about the way I parent. I’m confident and assured that I’m doing what’s best for my family. Period.
Here are some things to always remember in the face of judgemental parents to help you feel more confident.
You’re Doing The Best You Can
No one understands your situation better than you. No one is with you or your children day in and day out like you are. No one has ever walked in your shoes. No one knows how many battles you’ve fought with your kids that day or what major issues you’re dealing with in your life right now.
You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve been given. There is always room for growth but don’t judge yourself for not being the fantasy parent in your mind. Love yourself for the imperfect and loving parent that you are today.
Understand That The ‘Judgers’ Literally Have No Idea What They’re Talking About
Okay, I have a huge confession that I’m slightly ashamed to admit: before I had an autistic child, I thought autism was a just
I literally had no idea what I was talking about. I didn’t know anyone that had autism. I had no idea what autism even was. I thought it was a behavioral issue and not a neurological disorder. I was uneducated and ill-informed. The judgment that I held had literally no merit or value. It had no basis of truth to stand on.
The people that judge your parenting style or your child’s behavior have no idea that they’re even talking about. Unless Supermarket Susan has walked a mile in your shoes, anything that comes out of her judgmental mouth-hole is just absolute crap. Move on with your life.
Negative People Will Find The Negative In Any Situation
Negative people see the whole world through a sad, angry, and fearful lense. Because your two-year-old refuses to wear shoes while riding in the shopping cart, a negative person will look at you and say, “That is what’s wrong with America… parents aren’t teaching their children respect”. Alright, Facebook Frannie, that’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?
There are two types of people in this world: negative or positive.
Negative people will always lose at life because everything they can see is inherently bad. Even if Facebook Frannie has a nice family dinner she’ll say, “It would have been better if the waitress had refilled my diet Coke faster…” You cannot change this type of person, so don’t try.
Positive people find the joy in any situation. Positive people will always win at life because everything they see is always good. Life isn’t perfect and yes, sad things happen, but positive people are grateful for the people and experiences they get to have in our very short life here. Positive people don’t have time to judge a situation they don’t understand. Positive people always seek to understand and offer compassion.
Offer Compassion to Those Who Judge
Whaaat? I can’t be serious, right? No, I am serious. I know it sounds all Biblical but you should offer compassion to those who judge you for several reasons.
You cannot receive compassion unless you give compassion. That’s a simple rule of life. You get what you give. You don’t yell and scream at someone in anger and then expect them to be loving and kind to you in return, do you? People don’t work that way.
Negative people generally live a life of seclusion. Negative people hate and judge themselves the most, remember that.
Your Opinion Of Yourself Should Be The Only Opinion That Matters
You get to decide what’s best for you, your children, your family, and your happiness. If you decide that you’re going to pick your battles and let your two-year-old go shoeless in the shopping cart, then do it and don’t let Supermarket Susan’s ugly scowl make you question your decision at all.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your parenting style.
Stop giving a crap about what Facebook Frannie comments on an article. She’s the one that’s spending her days sitting on the couch and trolling people on the internet. What a life of excitement and joy Facebook Frannie is living, right?
I’m sure your mom or best friend have the best intentions but if you are making healthy decisions in your life that contribute to your growth, screw whatever they think you should do with your life. I mean that in a loving way, really.
You’ve Got This. I Promise.
If your kids are fed, shelter, and loved– you’re winning already. Don’t let anyone shake you down into negativity. Always remember who you are, how far you’ve come, and how much you love your children. Don’t let the Supermarket Susan’s or the Facebook Frannie’s of the world be in control of your confidence and happiness.
Your life is perfect in all those little joyous moments throughout the day. Focus on those joyous moments, those are the things that truly matter in life.
Hey, I'm Nicole
I'M A SINGLE MOM OF A LITTLE BOY WITH AUTISM. I SHARE WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT RAISING A SPECIAL CHILD WITH TIPS FOR SELF CARE AND PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT